i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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