You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
