Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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