don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
