mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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