My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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