I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
