my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize