Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
