oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
ugly people sure do ruin things
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
