just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
The ass gains better be worth it
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