so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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