I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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