I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
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When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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