and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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