I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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