sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
