we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
