She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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