dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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