The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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