You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
