Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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