i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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