Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize