We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
