ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize