I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
