is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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