We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
