I wish you could order shots online.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
