No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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