it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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