so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
