Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
