what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
