I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
