those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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