Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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