I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
