I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
