Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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