But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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