Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
