Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
