We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I fill condoms, not promises.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
