This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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