Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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