the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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