Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
