He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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