Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
