foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
