that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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