I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Randomize
