At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
found the other keg... it's in the tree
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
