you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
