I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
