You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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