when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
