ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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