Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
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