omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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