Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I came so hard my ears popped.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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