If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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